Has the pendulum swung too far to the other end, resulting in hardened hearts, stubbornness, and pride? Is the lesser law being taught and accepted because the higher law that was taught for so many years is not being accepted into our hearts and practiced?

Is there now an abundance of self-righteousness instead of self-awareness?

In feeling self-righteousness, one convinces themselves with certainty, without regard to the outcomes and consequences, that they are totally correct and morally superior. Regard for others is beside the point, because (while without feeling and stubborn) they are certain they are on God’s errand.

The 95th year ended. The people started to forget the signs and marvelous things they had been taught. They became increasingly less impressed by signs or miracles from heaven. Their hearts grew hard, their minds blinded, and they started to disbelieve everything they had heard and seen, foolishly imagining it was just something people, using the accuser’s power, did to mislead and deceive everyone’s hearts and minds. So Satan once again influenced the people’s hearts, blinding their eyes and persuading them to believe Christ’s doctrine was foolish and worthless (CoC 3 Nephi 1:8).

A hard heart is accompanied with a closed mind. The opposite of a hard heart is an open heart. Does an open heart accept feedback?

An idea was presented that if I acknowledge responsibility for the feelings I create in another, this action creates divers ways to sin. And, of course, I wouldn’t want to carry those burdens of potential sins on my shoulders, so I must consciously choose to disregard the feelings I create in another. And all this is done in the name of maintaining my godliness. Is this scripturally accurate?

The word divers that is used in the Book of Mormon is replaced with countless in the Covenant of Christ.

And finally, I cannot tell you all the things whereby ye may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them (BoM Mosiah 2:6). 

Finally, there are countless ways to commit sin and I can’t possibly list them all (CoC Mosiah 2:6).

Let’s scale back to read more of the verse:

In light of the things I’ve told you — to maintain a remission of your sins daily and to walk guiltless before God, it’s important to share your belongings with the poor. Each person should give based on what they have, by feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick, and providing spiritual and temporal relief according to their circumstances. See that all these things are done with patience and wisdom. No one is required to work beyond their capacity. Diligent efforts can lead to success. Therefore live your life thoughtfully, being mindful of order and diligence. Remember that when you borrow something from your neighbor, it’s important to return it as promised. Not doing so would be considered a sin, and it may even cause your neighbor to commit a sin as well. Finally, there are countless ways to commit sin and I can’t possibly list them all. However, I can warn you that if you don’t remain vigilant and pay close attention to your thoughts, words, and actions, and if you don’t follow God’s commandments and maintain your faith in the Lord until the end of your life, you will perish. So please, remember this and avoid perishing all (CoC Mosiah 2:6)!

Using a simple example of returning what you borrow, King Benjamin teaches that your actions may even cause your neighbor to sin as well. Failing to return something borrowed can cause an array of thoughts, feelings, and even actions, in and from your neighbor. You should have enough charity for your neighbor that you return what you borrow so to not cause them to sin. Here the scriptures demonstrate that considering how a person will interpret and perceive your words and actions is a diligent effort. We are to be vigilant, paying close attention to our thoughts, words, and actions because they do affect the people around us and we have a part in that.

Do you have a desire to enter God’s fold and be called His people? Are you willing to help carry each other’s burdens, to lighten them for one another? Are you willing to mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who need comforting (CoC Mosiah 9:7)? 

The ability to admit a wrong, a lack of knowledge, or a misjudgment requires self-awareness – which is the understanding of “how your being impacts and influences the people around you (Self-Awareness, 2022).”

If that is the case, then does a self-aware person take note of the feelings and reactions their actions and words cause in another? Whether they are right or not, do they consider feedback to help fine-tune and polish future interactions?

In her Self-Awareness talk in 2022, Stephanie said that people are going to tell us the truth about ourselves – how we tend to interact, fight, and communicate – and it will be hard, but we still have to do something about it.

In reiterating just how difficult it is for people to accept criticism about themselves, she said:

If you are good at self-assessment, you are open to feedback. Feedback means someone tells you something about yourself, and you take it in, internalize it, and use it to improve yourself. Feedback is a very, very difficult thing for people to take. We don’t like feedback, and we certainly don’t like asking for feedback. And you cannot be a self-aware person or understand yourself without feedback.

So according to this, being a self-aware person doesn’t mean that you ignore another’s feedback regarding yourself. It means you not only give it the time of day, but then you actually use it to improve yourself.

Stephanie continues:

We just think that we can do and say and be exactly how we are, and the people around us will just tolerate it—because that’s what we’re supposed to do. And unless someone is willing to look at you and tell you that you are lacking in a skillset or that you have a difficult time with this particular issue, we don’t learn these things.

Sometimes, stubbornness requires having someone willing to risk looking at you and express where they see you lacking so that you can finally learn. Otherwise, a hard heart will keep you running around thinking that you can do and say whatever and everyone else around you just has to tolerate it – because you are being your own authentic self.

Stephanie then shares some signs that signal you are a self-aware person:

You do not assume that you know how other people perceive you, but you try to remain conscious of social cues to make sure that you are not being ignorant of other people’s needs or their level of comfort. You accept critical feedback as crucial information you will need to learn and grow, not as a condemnation of your ability or character. You are kind to people who do not necessarily deserve it. You know it is not your job to determine who is worthy of kindness, but show it, no matter what. You are highly introspective. You evaluate your feelings, and you want desperately to grow personally and know that understanding yourself is the key to understanding others.

She then shares some signs that demonstrate a lack of self-awareness:

You get defensive easily. You control and are controlling. You act passive-aggressively. Your behavior changes depending on the scenario. You make excuses for your behavior. You micromanage.

And most alarmingly from all the signs:

You refuse to take feedback or deny that anything anybody says to you has any valid reality.

From this it seems that an over-arching sign of a self-aware person is that they have the ability to let things go.

I believe Stephanie said something profound at the end of this talk when she indicated that if we do not understand ourselves or why we react or think certain ways and things, then we just end up spinning our wheels in “contention and arguments and disagreements (Self-Awareness, 2022; pg. 6). A car spins its wheels when it is stuck in mud. Once again, it’s up to you to free yourself from it.

Ultimately, are we seeking feedback and correction from God? Or are we so self-righteous that we confidently plow the way before us claiming it’s God’s will that He made known to us? Do we believe that any behavior is excusable as long as we claim it is done “in the name of God?”

If you wish to hurt another by your words and actions, which includes setting a “trap” for your neighbor and getting back at someone, you are not filled with God’s love. If you teach to fight and quarrel with each other and to tolerate at least some things that serve the accuser, you are not filled with God’s love.

Every day, pray using the Lord’s name and remain steadfast in your confidence in what’s to come, which was foretold to us by the angel. If you do this, you’ll always rejoice and be filled with God’s love, and you’ll continue to receive forgiveness for your sins. Moreover, you’ll grow in your understanding of the glory of the One who created you and gain knowledge of what’s righteous and true. You won’t wish to hurt each other. You’ll be honest, pay your debts, and live in peace. You won’t let your children go hungry or naked or let them violate God’s laws and fight and quarrel with each other. Nothing will be tolerated that serves the accuser, the evil spirit referred to by our forefathers, who’s the master of sin and an enemy of all righteousness. However, you should teach your children to always walk in the path of truth, to be considerate and kind, and to love and serve one another (Mosiah 2:3).

If we are to be as little children and God commands parents to not let their children fight and quarrel with one another, then should we also not fight and quarrel with one another? Because the word quarrel is used here, it includes having heated arguments or disagreements. So perhaps we are not supposed to tolerate the heat in the kitchen after all? Consideration, kindness, love, and service is required in walking the path of truth.       

But those who didn’t belong to God’s congregation began to persecute those who belonged to it and had taken upon themselves the name of Christ. They abused, harassed, and insulted them, knowing their humility. Members of the congregation were neither proud nor viewed themselves as superior. They shared God’s word with each other freely, without money or cost. There was a strict law among congregation members prohibiting persecution of those who didn’t belong to the congregation, as well as persecuting one another. Nevertheless, there were many who were proud and who got into heated arguments over disagreements, even sometimes getting into fistfights. This was during the second year of Alma’s rule, and it caused a considerable amount of trouble and difficulty for the congregation. The hearts of many were hardened, and their names were removed, and they were no longer included as part of God’s people. Many also resigned from the congregation. This was a difficult test for those who were faithful. Despite this, they were firm and immovable in keeping God’s commandments, and they patiently endured the persecution piled on them (CoC Alma 1:5). 

There is always one side that is not confident enough in their personal beliefs to leave you alone. Therefore, they need to get everyone on board with them. In crying for mercy, they refuse to act justly as they demand your time with no regard for you. They abuse, harass, insult, and give no regard to respecting others.

Now among the congregation it was standard for them to be without pride, not viewing themselves as greater than another. They even shared God’s word with each other, meaning the exchange of scripture flowed freely between them. It was part of them and their conversations.

The law among God’s congregation prohibited persecuting each other and persecuting those who were not members. However, if some members did consider themselves superior (having pride), they were the ones engaging in arguments and disagreements, sometimes leading to violence. Regardless of the violence, the conflict was still considered a result of pride. Thus, many hearts were hardened because of the difficulty of the test.

Don’t harden your heart. Have enough self-awareness before God to hear and heed His feedback regarding your behavior, not the behavior of those around you.

One sure way to come out of this is to be firm and immovable in keeping God’s commandments, which are laid out in the scriptures.

The doctrine that King Benjamin taught “invited his listeners to repent and reclaim the mercy God offered. His sermon presumes that his audience were sinners and suffered from myriad shortcomings.” He explained, “Men and women, in their natural state, are out of harmony with God and have been since the Fall of Adam. This disharmony will continue from eternity to eternity, unless they yield to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, abandon their fallen nature, and become holy through the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ. They should strive to become like a child, humble, meek, patient, and full of love, willing to accept everything that the Lord deems appropriate for them, as a child obeys their parents (CoC Mosiah 1:16).

This doctrine is astonishing because it: makes each person individually accountable to follow the holy spirit; presumes that the holy spirit will entice you directly; puts each person in a position to be submissive to God; accepts the fact that life will always “inflict” even the best of us; makes God the one who is responsible for life’s challenges; and bids us to accept these afflictions, because they come from a wise Eternal Parent. King Benjamin is remarkably democratic in his view of God and His involvement in men’s and women’s lives. God is direct, immediate, and involved with everyone. “The Book of Mormon is a record that will be used as evidence we have been warned. In plain language and with sufficient truth to hold us all accountable, this is the standard by which we are to find our way back to the Lord in this last dispensation before His return (Glossary, Accountability).”

There is not another person to hold you accountable. It is the Book of Mormon, and now the Covenant of Christ, that holds each of us accountable for our actions. It is the ultimate feedback required of us to accept in order to find our way back to the Lord. Be submissive to God and what He sees fit to inflict on us. God cares about you. He is involved with you. He loves you  and wants you to come back into harmony with Him so that He can bless you.